Robotic Teacher

A decade ago, access to technology was limited at schools and ever since, technology has become a part of the society. For a generation of young people, technology, particularly the Internet, is a substantial component in their social and educational lives. Different technologies serve different purposes in the classroom. For example, word, e-mail. Unfortunately nowadays, the computer can even replace teachers.

Many different types of technology can be used in classrooms, everything from video content and digital moviemaking to laptop computing. New uses of technology, such as podcasting, are constantly emerging. In some colleges and universities the students don't even need to actually go there, they only turn on their computer(s), click the mouse and they see their teacher, talking and explaining the material.

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I believe that this kind of education method is wrong because it means that the teachers won't be able to treat each student in personal(מיותר). Moreover, children will probably lose their ability to relate to other human beings. It can also make them become dependent on technology to learn.This will probably cause a disconnected, apathetic, and uncaring youth.

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To sum up, this kind of technology should be taken out of the society. Maybe it is good to use in our free time, or just as a hobby.But replacing teachers beside computers means taking a large risk. A Risk that we can not allowe(sp.), that will make our society disconnected, apathetic, and uncaring.This kind of risk should be denunciated from our society.

Very good work. Well done!

(97)

Daphna

TEENAGERS BEHIND THE WHEEL

How many of you have heard about teenagers involved in car accidents? How many of your friends were involved in car accidents? Motor vehicle accidents remain the leading cause of death in youths from 16 to 20 years of age. The motor vehicle fatality rate of teenagers is higher than that of any other age group.

An organization of accident victims has recently proposed that the age for getting a driver's license should be raised to 19. As I see it, the issue of young drivers is a major problem in society. I think that everyone should take actions to try to stop the accident(s). I also believe that laws like the one I mentioned before can help us prevent this massive epidemic.

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I have read that the two main risk factors(risk factor for what?) include lack of driving experience and risk taking behavior. The law I mentioned before can solve half of the problem. By rising the age for a driver's license to 19 instead of 16 or 17, we can be sure that less car accidents will happen. At the age of 19 the drivers are under less peer-pressure and they are more mature. Moreover, at this age the drivers are more aware of the consequences of their actions. So they know what(מיותר) the price they will have to pay if they will take(gr.) risks on the road.

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To sum up, I do support the proposal of rising the age of getting (a) drivers' license to 19. I believe that the drivers are more mature at this age, and the fact is that maturity can and will probably save lives, especially on the road. I surely hope that this proposal will become a law in the future.

Very good.

(95)

Daphna

The Internet Generation

The internet is one of the most important inventions in our world. It has become a significant part(מיותר) and even inseparable (part) of our lives. In(ww.) the internet we can communicate with our friends, read the news, hear music, and we can even use it to to do our homeworks(מיותר). But in spite all of this, some say that the internet is the biggest mistake of the modern world.

On the one hand, the internet modernized our whole world. Firstly, thanks to the internet we can talk to our friends whenever and how much(ww.) we want. Secondly, it allows us to search for information in varied and unlimited sites and places. Moreover, there are sites, in which you can sell your old things, and other sites, in which you can shop and that way saving(gr.) time.

On the other hand, the internet can be a very dangerous place for the ones who don't know how to act carefully. The worst thing about the internet is that there is no guaranty that no one will brake(sp.) into your privet(sp.) site and discover details about you, which will later be used against you. The internet can be a violent place, where kids use the fact of no privacy(phr. - not clear what you mean) and make fun of other kids. Moreover, because of the internet, kids are reading less books, and doing less exercise, and even skipping doing homeworks(מיותר). This will cause(ww.) an apathetic and inactivate society.

In conclusion, I believe that in spite of all the risks and disadvantages of the internet, it had changed our lives in irreversible way(gr. - irreversibly). It has become a big and significant part of our lives and we probably won't be able to manage without it. However, I do believe that we should take actions to lower the risks and bad influence. Actions like using the internet and his(ww.-its) influence on children to help convince them doing(gr.) more exercise, and open their eyes to a different world.

(85)

Daphna

Working teenagers

(this was taken from last year booklet if all three modules. Unseen number 8.)

All over the world teenagers work in all kind(s) of jobs, cleaning, serving (or) selling, and even selling lemonade in the streets. Teenagers work during school and after school, but what is a better choice? Does it make difference on our studying(phr.), our social life(gr. - lives) or maybe even our maturation(ww. - you mean: maturity)?

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But first, we need to find out what is it (that) really that(מיותר) attracts so many students to work? Maybe it is the benefit of earning money and the ability to do with the money whatever we want, without anyone telling us whether it is alright or not. Or maybe it is the freedom that we feel when we have our own job and act all(ww. - like) grownups all the(ww. - of a) sudden? But whatever it is, everything can be summed up by one word - independence.

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I believe that a job evolve(ww.+gr.) in us all(מיותר) responsibility, maturity and independence,(New sentence) it helps us make the right decisions and gives us a pick(ww.) into the grownups' world, which we will be part of him(מיותר). Will a job duration(ww.) school really help us and show us how to deal and be part of this new and scary grownup world? I don't think so, but I do believe that we will enter the adult world with less fear, more knowledge and definitely a smile on our face. - The last part is not clear.

To sum up, I really believe that a job can help us be more independence(ww.) in our lives. It can also make us more mature and responsible. I believe that everyone who can, and wants to have a job while being a student, should have one.

Not bad.

(78)

Daphna

the qualities of a friend.

We have lots of friend(s) in all different positions of proximity. We have friends just to sit with at schools, we have friends just to hang out (in the) afternoon, and we have friend(s) to talk about everything and which(ww. - whom) we feel safe with. I believe that the most important qualities in a best-friend should be sensitivity, honesty and faithfulness.

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First, a friend should be sensitive. He should try to understand your moods and know how to act and whether you are sad, angry, or tired without you telling him. A sensitive friend wouldn't jump of joy when you are sad. I also believe that another important quality is honesty. Everyone needs to know that their friend won't lie to him, and that he can trust him. A friend should know to tell us the truth no matter what happens and even if he believes it's(ww. - it is) not for the best.

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I think that the most important quality is faithfulness. We need to know that we can trust our friend. We need to know that our friend won't go scatter a secret you (have) just told him. If a friend will tell(gr.) your secrets and betray you for (an)other friend, you know you can't trust him. If you can’t trust him you will not tell him you(r) secrets, or hang with him, you will not be able to talk to him without being afraid that he will embarrass you. And if you can’t trust your friend…what kind of friend is he?

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These qualities, sensitivity, honesty (and) faithfulness, are important to keep us with(phr.) our friends. All these qualities help us and our friends stay friends(phr.). Without these qualities the bonding will be lost and so is our friend(phr.).

Good work.

(83)

Daphna

56 George street,
New-York
29 April, 2010

Columbia university
13 Jersey Street.
New York, NY.


Dear Sir / Madam,

I am writing this letter in response to an article I read about a new course, which is about to be opened in the next month.

I was told all your courses are excellent and I am interesting(gr.) in attending a course of "Medical Care for Animals". I am currently a student at "Understanding the brain of the animals" in the local university. I desire to know more about animals then the thought process of animals(phr.).

I also take courses of(ww. - in) biology and chemistry at the local university and I see many programs on the "National Geographic" channel, so I know a lot about animal diseases and how they can be cured. When I have free time I usually volunteer at veterinarians' clinics or animals societies, so I have experience in taking care of animals.

I would be grateful if you could send me more information about the course "Medical Care for Animals".

Best regards,

Leona Lawis

Very good.
(94)
Daphna

56 Avenue street,
Holon
10 November, 2012

See the World

13 Jersey Street.

New York, NY.

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Dear Sir/Madam,

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My fiancé and I have been planning to go on a(ww. - our) honey-moon to the US for a month. We are interested in going on an organized tour with an English-speaking guide.

We are interested in making this trip unforgettable and full of new adventures. We are the kind of people who like to expand our horizons and learn new things. We would like to see zoos and circuses and special places like the Coronado Island and the Napa valley.

We would like to know the cost of every popular site. Can you give us information about the hotels there and their costs? Should we stay in the best hotels or are the hostels are(מיותר) enough? What kind of transportation should we use? As you see we can(ww. - need) some more information.

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We would be grateful and appreciate any kind of help you can give us. Looking forward for help(ww.), thank you very much(phr.)

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Sincerely yours,

Claire Bennet

Good work.

(95)

Daphna

A radio show for teens

59 Lavon Street
Holon, Israel
April 6, 2010

The Manager's Office
"109 fm" Radio Station
67 Hahalutch Street
Rehovot, Israel

Dear Sir/Madam,

I have heard about your attention(ww.) to produce a one-hour program for the youth. As a constant listener of the local station I would like to convey my suggestion for the new upcoming program.

I suggest you to give the youngsters the opportunity to call and ask for advices(מיותר). I think that you should employ a psychologist who will answer the teenagers' questions and help them.

From the beginning of the elementary school and until finishing(ww. - the end of) the(מיותר) high-school teenagers all over the world have to deal with different kinds of problems (social, economical, studies, and family). During their adolescence teenagers make lots of important decisions and in 99% of them they need advice. In addition, it is very easy to influence the teenagers due to the less(ww. - lack of) experience they have. If the teenagers are not careful or sometimes desperate they might go off track. Some of the teenagers don't have friends they can trust on(מיותר), or parents to rely on, and they need help.

I believe that starting this kind of program will gain your radio station more popularity. Furthermore, the most important thing this program will do is help the youth make the right decisions. Who knows…it might change someone's life.

Yours truly,
Laura bennet.

Very good work
(90)
Daphna

Gadna is an Israeli military program which prepares youth for their mandatory military service in the Israel Defense Forces. My class and I went on a Gadna week last month. This was the most unique experience I have been through (in) my whole life.

I would like to exalt my commander was nothing like I expected, he was better. When we first met him he looked like all the other commanders, but soon we realized he was different. At(ww.) the first two days he did not gave(gr. + ww.) us any pushups(phr.), he didn't punished(gr.) us and he was very, very patient. He didn't have this look of "I hate you, and I hate being here" .If something made him laugh, he laughed, if something made him angry he talked with us about it. In all our duty-rosters he helped us, and whenever we got tiered(sp.) he encouraged us, and motivated us.

In spite of the face that shooting practice may sound intimidating, this was a lot of fun. During the Gadna week we learned how to hold a gun, what the gun (is) made up(מיותר) of. We learned how to enter a magazine(what?), and how to direct and strike(ww.) our target. The shooting practice lessons were taken very seriously. Anyone who didn’t took(gr.) part or disturbed the commander during the lesson did not shoot(ww. - participate). At first, I was very nervous because I never shoot(gr.) a gun before. I wanted to quite(sp.) but I knew that I would regret it. The shooting practice turned out to be one of the most exiting things I have ever done in my life. The feeling of holding a gun and do(gr.) something I will probably never get the chance to do again was great.

I think that this week was an unforgettable experience. I made friendships with people I never met, and I renew(gr.) old connections. I got the chance to try new and different things. I learned new values and acquired new skills. I know that if somebody will give(gr.) me a chance to come back on a Gadna week(phr.), I will not hesitate and start packing my suitcases

Good essay, but you have to watch for grammar mistakes.
(80)
Daphna

21 Bialik street
Tel Aviv
february 11, 2010


Ms. Cathy Holmes
(Name of the travel agency)
106 Pioneer street,
Nevada

Dear Sir/Madam(ww. - Ms. Holmes),

I have been a satisfied customer of your agency for almost five years. However, the last trip I tool(ww.) on February 1, 2012 was not satisfactory. There were many reasons. The room's(מיותר) service (at the hotel....we stayed) was lame and the tour guide wasn't friendly.

In the light of the information given above I would like to add more information(what?). The tour guide was apathetic and when we asked him questions and showed interest, he ignored us. Moreover, instead of explaining information(phr.) to us he fell asleep on the bus.

In addition, the room service(explain where) was awful. After sitting on a hot bus for 5 hours we wanted to freshen up before dinner. When we opened the bathroom door, to our amazement, these(ww.) was one little face towel. We called room service and we got the towels 4 hours later when we were asleep.

I am confident that it is not your policy to provide such bad service. I am sure you want your customers to be satisfied. If I don't get full compensation I will go to a lawyer(phr.) and furthermore publish this letter in the "Jerusalem Post", where my aunt works.

Very truly yours,

Ashton Kutcher

Please correct your work.
(80)
Daphna

21Lavon street
Tel Aviv
December 3,2009


Ms. Elizabeth Holmes
Manager
Best Friends Animal Society
106 Pioneer street,
Nevada

Dear Ms. Elizabeth,

I would like to start volunteering at the "Best Friends Animal Organization". I have tried different things in life but, the one thing that never bores me and always makes me smile is being around animals. I love animals and I would like to help them in everyway I can. I think that by volunteering I will fulfill my goal, which is to help animals or, at least make their life better.

For start(phr.), the most important argumentation is that I LOVE animals. Ever since I was 10 years old I have tried to convince my mother to adopt a pet. I care about the health and good life(ww.) of the animals and when I have a chance to help them, I will do it. A few weeks ago, I saw a dog, which was tied to a fence. It looked like it was in trauma. I called to(מיותר) the "Animal Society" and they came to rescue the dog.

I learn biology and chemistry (include the name of your school and what grade you're in) and I see many programs in(ww. - on) the "National Geographic" channel, so I know a lot about animal diseases and they can be cured. When I have free time I usually volunteer at veterinarians' clinics or animals societies so I have experience in taking care of animals.

Having been part of "friend association" I think that there should be only two qualities required for this volunteering. The first one is to love animals. The second one is to be familiar with diseases, medications, behavior and the like. In my opinion, if a person have(gr.) these only(מיותר) two qualities he should be permitted to volunteer in every kind of organization/society for animals. I also believe that I the right person for this volunteering is me because I have all the qualities needed for this volunteering (job).

(Express your hope for a prompt reply).

Sincerely yours,

Hofit Levy.

(93)
Daphna

virtual class

Virtual learning has become popular. This way of learning is when a student turns on his computer, connects to a specific link, where he joins a group session. You must have speakers and a learning environment which consists of silence. Otherwise you will not be able to concentrate.

There are many advantages of(ww.) virtual learning. First, you are not exposed to peer-pressure(why?). You develop self discipline(why?). In addition, you must use self control. For example, you must complete your assignments on time and you need to be motivated in order to study.

On the other hand, you are in isolation from your peers. You do not get to know various types of people because you are alone. For example, if you are in Tel-Aviv and your "classmates" are in London you probably never get to meet them. (and why is that bad?)

Our writing blogs are a new way of learning English. We write online and our dedicated teacher spends endless hours correcting our mistakes. This is virtual because we do not hand anything in. it is all on the computer. As a result, we do not waste paper. We get motivated because computers are more fun and (our esaays are) easier to correct than (on) paper.

If I had the chance to take part in a virtual class I would reject the offer. It is important for me to be with people while learning. In addition, to experience social connections beyond what I would get from a computer.(phr.)

It's very good, but it needs some more work.
(87)
Daphna